Pushed it too far today..shocker..

Well, it is really no surprise to me that I pushed it too far again today and ended up crippled.. again..
I wish that there was a little button that told me when to stop. It was really amazing however to work beside my daughter all day. She is an incredible young woman and I am really blessed to have her in my life. It was really hard also because I know that she wanted to stop at a few points today, but she kept going because she didn't want me working alone.
Sometimes I realize what a huge effect MS has had on our whole family. Our kids have had to adjust to mom who gets tired really easily, and used to be the most fun outdoorsy mom, now being quiet and more subdued.
Here a a picture of us today

10-10-10

So today.. is an awesome global event!
10-10-10- Global work Party is taking place in over 7000 events in 188 countries.
Somehow I was swept up in the awesomeness of this event, and I decided to take on organizing a community event.
It seemed like a great idea at the time... but now at 9:45 am on the morning of, after 2 hours of huffing marker fumes making signs, I am wondering if it was really a good idea.
Having MS and the stroke has forced me to redesign my life. To be honest, I function very well in my home space. I can rest whenever I need to, easy access to the toilet, at home I can almost imagine that I am totally well. I run most of my business from my home via the internet. You cannot see or hear the exhaustion in an email.
I carefully choose and time when I am in very public situations.
Before the stroke I was a person on superspeed all of the time. Everyday people would say things like "Wow ,how do you do it all?" or "I wish I had half of your energy"
Those sentences have been replaced by, "Did you hurt your leg?" or "Wow you look tired"
My coping strategy has been to retreat.
Unfortunately, it is very hard to change one's nature and I find myself today and many days in the position of putting myself out there again..probably pushing myself too hard but being so rewarded by the human interaction that I keep doing it.
We will see Happy 10-10-10 everyone!

Maybe it is about time..

I figured it might be time to start blogging about my MS. I already blog about the insane juggle it is to run a music venue, be a mom and run my own business at here
But sometimes there is so much more to say about the reality of juggling MS and all of this. I was diagnosed almost a year ago exactly, after having a hypertensive stroke and having had several MRI's.
It took me about a year to get my blood pressure under control but I still felt like shit. After a series of tests, MS was determined to be the culprit.
You have to understand that prior to my stroke I was a very healthy, vegetarian, yoga teacher, mom of two and successful business owner.
I have very mixed feelings about western medicine. I find it really hard to believe that I could have a stroke, severe hypertension and MS at 37 years old and have them not be related in some way, but western wisdom treats them all as separate events and treats each independent of the other ones.
Something tells me there is something systemically wrong and I will one day put it all together. In the meantime however, I exist and live only with the help big pharma.
Through this process I have been very very ill, and the one thing I can say for western medicine, is that there are moments, like when your blood pressure is 210/120, that I am happy for the drugs that can physiologically save me from more strokes.
Here I am a year after diagnosis, I have learned a lot and have been forever changed. I am grateful to still be alive, and I try to enjoy everyday.
MS has been hard to swallow, and I cant believe how much it has caused me to slow down, but, it has also opened me and for that I am grateful!